the Sugar Conspiracy

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Ashcroft resigns, crime now non-existant

U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft, a lightning rod of criticism by civil liberties groups for his anti-terror policies after the Sept. 11 attacks and who once even ordered the robing of two partially nude statues in his department, resigned on Tuesday.

"The demands of justice are both rewarding and depleting," Ashcroft said in a handwritten resignation letter to Bush dated Nov. 2, the day the president was re-elected. "I take great personal satisfaction in the record which has been developed. The safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved."

Wow. And it only took him four years. Thanks, Johnny! We can all rest easy now that Americans are free of crime and terror.

UPDATE: Looks like Ashcroft isn't the only one who's vanquished terrorism.

posted by chris at 10:09 AM
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